Leet-Beat Manifesto

I sat down, sighing, and peeled the remnants of the leet from my boot. Vile little things, leets; cute, but they scurry about like fucking ancient earth-rats - only without their systemic fear, so they tend to get trampled underfoot with alarming regularity. How they managed to evolve with such incredible stupidity and trust for giant mammalian creatures is bizarre; on Earth, they’d have never have made it. On Rubi-Ka, they never should have made it - but they did. Well, this one didn’t, and now I had an incidental meal.

It isn't that I tried to kill it - I'd been trying to avoid the thing. But they're everywhere, swarming about in leet packs like stupid, cute, and laughably armless little bodies. Swarms of blankly-staring beady eyes, judging me for killing the bureaucrat that the mission demanded. Well, fuck them. I had his head and the mission reward, and they came at me, damnit. I holstered my Sparkling Freedom Arms pistols, stood, and left, leaving a trail of leet blood behind me. Queue sunsets and happy clouds.